Friday, December 29, 2017

Winter

Greetings good citizen, as a Bostonian people would pick up on my 'accent' and wistfully tell me they always wanted to visit Boston. Probably not just me who has the initial reaction of 'What's wrong with you? Why would you want visit there?' Ever hear the joke about wearing a parka and shorts? Well, that's true!

You see, if you don't live where some of the worlds most extreme weather happens you get to harbor fantasies about how 'quaint & historic' Boston is instead of the reality, when it's not colder than a witches tit, it's steamier than the Devils scrotum! Spring and Fall last exactly one day with Spring showing sometime in February while there's still snow on the ground and Fall sometime in November or early December, Mother Nature ignores the flippin' calendar. Nice weather is so rare around here we don't care, we take 'em when she gives 'em to us.

Wanna go for a dip in the Atlantic? Not if your on the north side of Cape Cod you don't! [Not without a wet suit...]

The flannel sheets stay on the bed from Columbus Day until school lets out in June, then we break out the air conditioners, shorts and tank tops. A little bizarre to be wearing shorts and a tank top while the snowbank at the end of the street is still melting. [As I type this the plow just went by (again)]

It is so cold out some places have cancelled New Years! [Sometimes referred to as First Night, where half the time they're crying the ice sculptures are melting but the forecast is for rapid onset [less than 5 min exposure] frostbite this December 31st! Did I mention the weather sucks?

What nobody tells you is the expression, "If you don't like the weather in New England, wait a minute"...well the 'unspoken part' is 'it will get WORSE!'

Again it's not the temperature so much as the windchill, the thing that makes Nor'easters such a treat! [Se Habla Winter Hurricane?]

Don't get me wrong, visiting and living here are two different animals. Seeing the sights and soaking up some culture (Boston does have a unique 'flavor' that you won't find anywhere else.) I'm guessing the weather gets to you...maybe 'hardy' doesn't quite sum up your typical Bostonian.

Probably something in the Bostonian's make up, remember the original Revolution STARTED HERE.

You can find Englishmen all over the planet...and when you run into Brits that have made Boston their home, they unfailingly refer to England as 'home'. So there probably isn't much to recommend Boston as a place to live, even 'transplants' fondly embrace wherever they came from over this formidable environment.

Kinda tough growing up in worst house of what used to be the nicest block on the planet but you make the best of it. Ironically it's proximity to England is what's kept Boston 'relevant'.

We may have started it but look at where they decided to put the Capitol, [even New Yorkers suffer from being a little too close to the ice chest we all refer to as the 'icy North Atlantic'.

Not for nuthin, when biblical Jesus walked the Earth this part of the planet was still buried under a mile thick sheet of ice!

Weather aside, New England has its 'charm'.

Probably unfair to write about the weather during one of the coldest winters in recent history, New Englander's are no strangers to outerwear, for nine months out of the year you keep your jacket handy, just in case. Recently we've been wearing more of it, the weathermen like to admonish us to 'dress in layers' which makes put everything you own on sound less ridiculous!

So if I sound kind of ornery sometimes try to appreciate where I'm coming from. I was born here and I haven't managed to escape (yet), how unfortunate the only way I'm gonna get out is a lottery hit, if I don't I just can't afford to move.

[In case any of you were wondering, Gegner is still po'.]

Rather than go screaming off the reservation I'm gonna post this one 'as is' to give you the [likely false] impression I'm not a wild eyed maniac ready to lynch the first mildly prosperous individual I run into.

It's not their fault [although they're not doing anything about it] It is unlikely I'll ever accidentally bump into a 'runner'. They avoid the mundane like the plague!

As we wind down 2017, try and keep your eye on the ball.

Thanks once again for stopping by and opening your mind,

Gegner









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